Oh you kids.

The misconception is that I hate children. Allow me to clear the air. I hate most children. This probably includes yours. You see, if you have the time to read a completely unpopular blog, you should probably be spending that time watching your kid(s). They get themselves into all sorts of trouble when you're pretending to care about their happenings.

This problem arises when people who probably shouldn't breed, at least at this point in their lives, do. They haven't given themselves enough time to enjoy life without the responsibility of another human being. I can't pretend I know what it is that makes them think bringing another life into this world is appropriate because I am bias, and not in their favor. In case you couldn't tell.


It's not even within my realm to pretend to enjoy children that I absolutely don't. It's a rare event that causes me to, "lose my cool," and act out, however, misbehaving or just painfully uncool kids do just that. I escape my calm, cool, collected self and resort to sneaking into another room to dish my distaste to those whom might agree. In extreme cases, I've even been known to shoot the parents a dirty look that suggests, "Your kid sucks."

And you will never see a parent apologize for their child in these situations, no. Uncool kids are direct results of two completely uncool people figuring out that their private parts fit together.

Why can children get away with such terrible social skills while their actions performed by another age group would be frowned upon, reprimanded and even held legally accountable in some situations.

If I pulled my pants down and started peeing on the floor of a public place, I do believe it wouldn't be considered cute and followed up with, "Aw, oh no, look at Kimmie. She just found her hoo hoo."

I'd be writing this blog on the wall of a cell.

Are we doomed?